茫然..

hmm..3rd day already since I got home..home sweet home after more than one year..have been quite tired though being at home..huh..mayb coz of one-week tiring, enjoyful, lepak Taiwan trip ended in an adventurous style..guess I won't be able to forget the last day of our trip..just got back to Taipei from Hua Lian around 9pm..and we went for the last dinner in Taiwan, steak^^everyone spent around RM30 or 40 for the last..yummy yummy..then as planned we had the whole nite non-sleep..street-basketball, cyber-cafe and norae-bang..guess mayb our trip so far was just too smooth and some challenges needed to be faced too..halfway while everyone enjoying, suddenly YH awake from sleep and threw out a question:"will station MRT station with lockers where we put our belongings be locked?"..oh man everyone like being struck with panic..wasting no time MP and KH went out for a check..ya the station was locked and will be opened mayb at 6am according to the Karao-ke staffs..omg our flight is at 8.20..after asking the hostel owner, we came up with some plans, and could do nothing but only waiting..finally we came up with the decision that we split into 2 groups, one heading for airport and reclaim all our luggages, and one waiting for the station to be open and take all the belongings we put there..thanks God that we managed to make it..and mayb it's a nice nice experience for the 2nd group to sit in a taxi driven at 160km/h:P..haha finally on the way back already..and guess what..before boarding the flight we met Chao Ge, our M'sian singer, quite famous in Taiwan..of coz got shot a photo with him lar..hehe taking the same flight with him also I think^^like MP said, after being scared out of wits for the whole nite, at least can be boosted with this..haha..true lar..all seemed like half-died dee but after shooting the photo like really refreshed a bit..ok here ended our trip to Taiwan..hooray everyone ^^

haha at home dunno what to do..everyday online not many ppl on also..checking results only lor..so far..no eye to see lar..

a post from Taipei

Christmas eve just passed..now is early in the Christmas morning, 1am..hehe having a nice time here..me, even most of us did something that we never did b4 I guess..what we did today??well since it's raining since the morning, so we postponed my plan to go to Yang Ming San and went for hotspring instead..but then guess the temperature was not that inviting till most of us can't bare to stay long inside, anyway it's just tremendous.. and then we went for lunch, at 3.30 something and around 4..ops..it ended up with that we had a steamboat buffet costed NT$220..can't tell whether that was our lunch??teatime??or dinner??lolz..wow it got dark so soon..during their so-called winter in Taiwan..then we went to Dan Shui Yu Ren Ma Tou, a port..ya it's very nice to shoot photos there..and a shopping followed afterwards..in Wu Fen Pu..yea all of us bought clothes..especially for the 3 gals in our group..gotta admit that it's like a heaven for gals to shop:D.. then we went to the landmark in Taipei, 101..the Christmas isn't that popular or hot here, compared to in Korea..had fun there, with photo-taking and else..ya now posting here while others went out for supper..and others travellers from all around the world chatting beside..wow paiseh compared to them , can mix around so well..haha mayb we came in big group so we just sticked to ourselves..anyway enjoyed very much till now..having fun and funny time, lots and lots..thanks to our groupmates kaka..k will stop posting here and wanna wish a MERRY CHRISTMAS from Taiwan^^

tell me why...

有句广东话说得好:"长命工夫长命做"..难道考试也要长命考吗??

为什么为什么!!!今天, 可是我打从上周就引颈长盼的一天..为什么事实都是如此残酷..为何还要困扰我多十数来钟??真想就此器械投降..或许换了别人, 人家会说迟点考倒好, 多点时间准备..实则不然.. 真想什么都不做, 明早进了考场就乱涂一通..就算考了个乱七八糟倒也甘愿..这样的考试, A+ 拿了又怎么样..只不过是拿来摆美而已..拿着父母`人民的血汗钱, 我在这都干些啥来着??同流合污吗??

it seems short, but still long away..

telling myself:"less than 2 days..then I'll be free of exams, the last one from all of us"..usually 2 days will pass very soon, but this gonna be a long long one..before today, I like very pitiful, still having 4 exams to go..but then 2 of them gone like that..without any special feeling..after submitting my CAD drawing at 12(took me 6 hours to do it), I felt a great relief..though obviously that I won't be able to get an 'A' for that, still it's the subject that don't need to study but the most stressful one..2nd exam of the day was the most special exam I ever had..guess what there're only 5 of us who taking it..me, Lionel, Rubhen, Ehsan and Mang..during exam sound of flipping over book can be heard clearly..it's an open-book exam..still after handing over the exam sheet to lecturer(a nice and kinda man^^), 5 of us looked at each other, with expression that I can't find a suitable word to describe..the same words:"I did do all what I can do..that's all"..after exam, lotte, lepak, and back to home..cooked simple fried mee, finished it and started dota..my performance was prettily bad, so was my mood, and my temper..here u can know that I'm totally under control of the exams..my lifestyle, my mood and everything..so..some ppl asked to go for movie..but same with some others, I rather stay in front of my com and continue our dota spree..consequently until now I haven't gone to bed, and the clock pointing at past 4, in ther morning..I feel myself very weird compared to others..being the only one who haven't finished exam, but still insisting wanna play game even some asked me to study..lolz..

thinking thinking..I think I'm absorbed into this kinda lifestyle totally..and kinda like it..sad that only these few days left, before I depart for a tour in Taiwan, and back to my motherland..intead of dota, we enjoyed Pudge War more today..and my house members,me, ty and jh shouted like hell while playing it..really a fun..with no stress of losing, but with laughter..and terribly, I tertidur while playing the last dota game of the nite, or morning more precisely..omg how can this kinda stuff happen..oh oh oh ..and whatever it is, whatever ppl say, now I only wanna live my life, and finish the exam just to finish it..and forget about this damnit semester..and..find back the brighter me..morning in the 4am morning~~

...

当太阳不再上升的时候,
明天也就不会到来
当地球不再转动,
时间也就会停留在这一分一秒
当人们尽情狂欢时,
也就更衬托出旁人的可悲

宇宙之间
能容下五湖四海
能装下天地万物
心灵之间
却装不下一个你`
容不下一个我
往往在一线之间
就决定了一切

鸟语花香`炎阳高照`落叶萧萧`白雪纷飞
走在纷纷攘攘的街头
仿佛天地万物都化为虚有
在茫茫人海中
寻找那个最好的'我'
所谓的"不打紧`没关系"
只不过是用来敷衍自己

feel like wanna war the whole world

정말 이런 걸 원치 않는다..자기 기분을 나쁘게 하는 것..아마 다른 사람의 기분까지 나쁘게 하는 것..이번 주에 진짜 그 교수 두 마리때문에 답답하고 미치겠다..뭐 지난 주에 다음 주 화요일에 시험을 본다는데 이번 주에 와서 또 바뀌었다..다음 주 목요일로.. 정말 이 'ㅅㅂ'하고 욕하고 싶다..괜히 진도 쭉 나가면 그 뿐 이지 범위도 안 주시다니..한 마리는 어떤 상황에도 보강 시간에 정상 수업을 하겠다고..다른 한 마리도 못지 않게 말도 안 되는 짓을 하셨다..다음 주 수요일에 떠날 샤릴에게 목요일 밤에 시험을 보게 하셨다..다들 시험이 다음 주에 할 거라 알고 있으니 공부 하나도 안 한 건 당연하지..갑자기 시험을 보라고..같은 날에 수업도 정상적으로 진행하고 다른 시험도 있으면서..

목요일은 참 이상한 날이었다..왜냐..아침 수업에는 교수가 말한 대로 노트정리 숙제를 검사했다..지난 번에 완전히 망쳤고 이번에도 희망을 가지지 않았다..근데 내가 한 숙제를 보시고 나서 아무 질문도 안 하시고 그냥 잘 했다고 하셨더라..그리고 영어로 훌륭하다고..참 내가 당장 무슨 말을 해야 되는지 모르게 되었다..이 과목 기말 시험을 잘 봤다 싶어서 점수가 잘 나오는 걸 바랄 수 있다..저녁에 보는 물리 시험..중간 시험에 벌써 망쳤으니 이번 기말에 준비를 열심히 하는 것도 아니다, 다른 친구에 비해..시험 문제는 아주 쉽다고 할 수 없지만 문제를 풀 때 예상외로 자신있게 풀었다..시험 후에 에이스와 얘기해 보니 내가 한 문제를 전혀 틀린 원칙으로 풀었대..그 때의 심정을 무슨 말로 표현해야 되는가??그냥 웃기만 했다..오차피 내가 시험 볼 때 자신감을 다시 찾았다..최선을 다 했느냐??그 걸 나도 대답할 수 없고 그냥 내가 할 수 있는 만큼만 다 했다..야 내가 계속 참고 싶지만 그래도 참지 못했다..만약에 좀 시하고 너무한 말을 했다면 정말 미안..스트레스를 받기 때문에 그런가 모르는데 맘에 오래동안 햇빛이 안 쪼인다..아마 심정을 평형하게 못하는 거다..남은 다 맘껏 웃고 놀 수 있으면서 내가 아직도 벗어나지 않는다..이런 건 나한테 더 심한 것이다..남은 다 할 수 있는 걸 내가 못하는 사실을 받기가 싫다..이 성격은 좋지 않은 걸 잘 안다..참...

오늘도 한 시험을 봤다..다행히도 내가 한 것에 만족하다..이런 자신감을 유지하고 싶다..벌써 늦은 것이지만 이런 느낌이 세상의 최고이다..그래 이번 시험 기간에 내가 스트레스를 거의 안 받는다..스트레스에 잘 대응해서 그런가..아무튼 해피 기말이 되었으면 좋겠다..다음 주에 시험이 끝나고 여행을 하고 고향에 돌아갈 거다..할 준비가 아주 많다..준비할 시간이 충분할 지 아직 모르는 거다..내일(토요일) 친구들은 파티를 한도고 계획을 세웠다..내가 아직 공부할 게 많이 남아 있다..그냥 시험을 하루만 잊고 같이 파티를 할 까??아니면 그냥 참여하지 말고 마지막의 노력을??모른다..친구아..정말 같이 안양천 옆에서 소리를 지르고 싶다..또 이렇게 늦게까지..정말 앞으로 어떤 날 갑자기 쓰러질 수도 있다..야야야 아자아자..울면 안 된다..그냥 사소한 일일 뿐 아무것도 아닌 것은..잠이나 자라!!!

another one..

dunno why recently keep listening to this song..'另一个自己' by Anson Hu and Stephy Tang..I used to keep listening to some songs, but this one is just..absorbed totally..I do like Anson alots..yet the part I like this song the most is the lyrics..the feeling wanna fly..wanna show a different side of mine..have confidence in myself..improve myself, until one day when I can reach the peak..believe that there's no where that I can't go, can't explore..everyone need to experience ups and downs then only the outcome will be appreciated, just like a rainbow always looks colourful and beautiful after raining..make our own fairytale, and make some precious memory for the future..something like this..yeah~~

today finished 2 exams..everyone seems like 100% serious with the final this time..but luckily I not being psycho..act I face the exam this time with little little hope..really thin and slim one..but then after the first( second act) exam I can finally exhale the sigh of relieve..guess what I can't finish the drawing today, for CAD..haha we're nothing compared to some Koreans, those who can finish in time and mantap enuf..didn't even feel sad..can't finish mah can't lor..no one cares..yea this is the spirit I missed so long..just like what Yu Han said(and she wrote in her status)..an illness called "bo rasa"..but for me, it's not an illness but it's kinda immunity..immune to stress??or desire to chase for glory..and the 2nd exam in the evening..glad to say that I did pretty well( if no unexpected stuffs happened)..as usual firstly damn blur while getting the question sheet..but then managed to finish it in style^^자랑:P..ops suddenly get the reason why am I immune to stress from exam dee..it's coz of homeworks, assignments!!!others all don't have any class during exam week, can focus 100% fire on their study..but me..class still on..and the nearer to exam period all the damnit lecturers suddenly so semangat to give reports..just finished one and still got one to go..tired, tired of homework!!!

Thursday..Physics exam will be taking place..and on what earth I still haven't touched that subject..almost everyone screwed up in the mid-term, so did I..and compared to others who treat the final exam of Physics as their only exam this time, all study and work so hard in effort to make the score better, I like tend to let it be, let the bad to be bad..aiks really need to find another 'me'..or the original 'me'??just leave it with no answer bah=.=

尾声了~~

平静而冷清的周日..把今天当成周日过的恐怕没人吧..想必都在埋头苦读吧..

一觉醒来, 十点正..哇 竟然睡了七个小时有余, 可破了数月来的记录=.=然而精力充沛的感觉全然没有, 脑袋倒是重重的..也许这就是所谓的 'overload'吧..打从早上起又对着那本书..懂了多少??不重要.. 或许真懂了些吧..才第一次和它打交道就须面对考试, 不可要求太多:P..至少这次在集中力上取得了进步, 虽然迟了些..

周末一向来都只呆电脑前` 懒得下厨只等被叫吃的我, 在更该'不理世事'` 分秒必争的此时此刻, 竟然撇开书本, 煮起饭`炒起菜来..不明所以, 也许对着书累了, 想找点别的事做做吧..相对于其他人, 我的时间表还蛮写意的, 该庆幸吗??只是当别人都在蹦蹦跳跳` 高嚷着 "过了"` 把滑鼠及键盘打得响当当时, 我却还在为着未完成的战役而熬..那滋味当真是想了都怕..

一'知己'对我说了:"同是天涯沦落人"..哈哈..怎说呢..都因无法击溃心魔而沦落..明知没剩多少时间了, 还在人天交战..唉.."你还没尽力, 就算不尽力你也行的.." 内心里又响起如此声音, 真是要命呀..这这这, 还只不过是个开始~~

over dee??but more to come..

darn..got tones of stuffs wanna write..a bad experience but memorable..haiz..

story started on Tuesday..the most lepak day of mine..but this week, since Maths exam will take place on Wednesday so I can feel the tension..back to home and my turn to cook..erm mayb some curry..as usual I'm too clumsy till nearly spoiled the whole pot of our dinner..luckily still can save it but dunno whether it was sux??super spicy?? or just normal:P..after dinner, something terrible that I had been worrying for time finally happened..my thigh, my back, my arms..almost every part swollen..in red.. yuacks..in moment got the feeling like dropped into hell..for heaven sake I got no more time and effort to bother over other stuffs than exams and tones of assignment..still I cooled myself down:"The symptom seems to be different..it's more like the symptom after I took alcohol..or mayb it's because of the heat I get from heater??since I sleep right on the heat spot and haven't had the feeling that it's already winter..it's must be."after 12 I lost all my concentration already..no point to keep myself to the book..instead I had DOTA till the sake of 4 in the morning..with 3 other crazy mates of mine..haih give the feeling like in vacation rite??

ok it's Wednesday..woke up with my body still itchy and in red..can't really make myself stood properly from my mattress..in the kitchen I knelt down helplessly..had the feeling of disaster happening..ya regretted dee..I'm punished for my immatureness.."you aren't an ironman..3++ hours of sleep equals to nothing dude.."ouch pain!!nvm one more night then can have a rest temporarily..it's ok MC..3 hours of Thermodynamics like normal..can concentrate on the lecture, though not 100%..something awaiting scared me out of my wits..already feeling like being burnt inside during lunch(lack of sleep giving its effect), the heat nearly strikes me faint while I entering classroom for another 3-hour-lecture..oh man it's worse than in summer..soon I knew my body did response dee, quite sensitive..and words from fellow Ehsan hit me hard..he said my face in red..how come??was just tired for the whole lecture..can't do any Maths exercise as I planned to do, for the coming up exam..did see myself in toilet..OMG OMG..looked like I'm drunken..all the symptoms.. calm down and we go to hospital tmr ya..managed to keep the condition from getting worse..and had our last exam for Maths..unlike what I heard from Rubhen, I wasn't blur when looking at the first question of the paper( for the first time out of 4 exams:P)..once I did have the feeling of giving up and nervous..actually it was my bad..coz I started my preparation for this exam quite early(my sole hope to score an 'A+' sadly) and found out that it's quite easy..and there started my ego, to leave the last part for the last-minute study..and did pay kinda painful price for that..I have no idea at all how to handle those questions in last part, which came out as the main part of exam questions..cried with no tear..though still able to did my best but let's just pray hard for an 'A+'..if not I will get none=.= last lecture from D. Hwang..he told us something..what he felt after lecturing us for one sem.. and so on so on..the funniest part.."you all got nothing to tell me??"everyone just kept quiet..act I got some to tell u sir..though I think our Daniel can teach better than u in this subject, but I did admit that u did u great job( to me only??lolz)..at least u were able to keep me awake, concentrated to ur lecture..u can make me understand the stuffs u taught whereby reading the book itself makes me blur over what I've learnt..haha..u are at the top in my lecturers' ranking this sem..and mayb 2nd or 3rd for the first year(after 이성오..and 황재호 mayb??)..and for the subjects under those 2 lecturers I did excellent score, so hopefully the rule works this time also:P..argghh another busy night..with the itch bothering somemore..sux!!!

felt better today..5-hour sleep made things better..wtf 민용기..tell earlier mah u not going to check the note today..ppl all burnt midnight oil to rush ur stupid so-called homework..why don't somebody just send u to the sake of hell?!!wow today quite macho also..finished the report just 30mins before the due-time kaka..and the itch strike again..lecture finished one hour earlier ya??hospital lor..I insisted that I want to see the doctor also no matter my prob is because of fever, flu or just a pure skin disease..and so kind of the doctor, listening to my description about my case..yeah my Korean not that bad also^^haha proud proud..ok will receive injection, as I expected..but ouch 2 on the usual part..pain~~and must have some pills over 3 days..yeah let's just swallow the pills and have a nice sleep in Materials class tmr:P..and until night time after finishing Physics class I was in half-concious condition..yet being cheered by the effect of the injection..no more redden face(like cartoon according to XY), no more scratching over my body.. yess!!!!!!wanna have nice condition for the coming exam weeks and holidays:)not mood to study tonite though..just dota lah tmr only start:P..

arrgghhh seems like my schedule for exam going to be disastrious again..got 3 papers on next next week..the week going to depart to Taiwan=.=shit lar like no time to walk around and get some nice nice souvenirs back dee..erm next week got 5 gua..dunno whether wanna face it with little hope or face with the giving up mood:P..just let it be lar:P..and now the x-sleep plan cancelled dee..will cost me alots de..luckily realised dee now than to experience it next week.. haha seems like I'm doing what baba asked from the very first when I came to Korea-->writing diary..is this a diary??dunno..but too sad he won't be able to read some of these also, since written in English lolz..eyelids getting heavier~~

back to the past~~

与时间赛跑~~

dunno why when the busier I am, when the time is limited, when I'm not allowed to lepak anymore, I always tend to be more lepak, waste more time..haha mayb I should be proud of this bad characteristic..for the first time, I sat on my chair, doing my notes without leaving it for hours??but then when I stood up time I found my butt and thigh stiff..isshh wondering whether the same thing will happen to others??those who sit on chair and study the whole day one..mayb they get used to it dee gut..did set a schedule for reports and revision..let's say must finish which work and study till which part by what day lar..yet it never be followed..ya with a report to be handed up next week haven't been touched..and I'm blogging here..what the.....

oh it's past 2 in the midnite..at least I can be cheered up by study of Maths and notes of Fluids which I did today??pls lar Maths..I need to get at least one A+ and u r the one..that I got hope and find it not so troublesome..now thinking of x-sleep during exam week..but then must be alert..whether it will bring the satisfying outcome??else my so-called 'SACRIFICE' will be in vain..and mayb with my core squeezed to dry..

today got in touch with my cousin that we didn't meet for years dee..she's studying in Taiwan..but all on her own..she works and earns all her expenses, even her schooling expenses.. heard before from baba mama that her mum(my aunt) just don't need to worry bout her daughter..months before she went to US somemore..though she's already my idol since I was a child..now I salute her more and more..I will never be able to get behind u, though once I thought I did..hehe it's my trip to Taiwan few weeks later made me to get in touch again with u..it's my bad..but then do inform me if u coming to Korea..treat u gau gau if it happens( as long as I haven't graduated and finished my course here:P)..and get one nudge from a friend of mine.. warned me must reach SG. B on 29th Dec..since he's leaving for campus on the next day..haha surely will be able to do that..c ya that time..

story of fool again..it's a rojak feeling..sometimes will think I'm smart and able to poyo in certain aspects..sometimes:"I'm not bad also what, compared to others."..sometimes:"I'm so so stupid, on what earth am I going to compete with others?"everybody knows this is something to do with confidence..ya when boosted with confidence, can easily feel the momentum like unstoppable..but confidence is just like a balloon..confidence will leak away pretty fast, like a penetrated balloon..ending of the story:"I'm not really a fool, but I wanna be one."

still can't get past=.=

累了
在某一瞬间
倒是充满了斗志
无可否认 我也想去了解
其中的奥妙` 高超`神奇
这些这些 都是促使当初的我做出如此决定的因子
无奈的` 可悲的
它是短暂的` 昙花一现
如若一天有四十八小时
也许` 真的也许
我会作困兽之斗

说穿了
我只不过是个永远都挣不脱那 '怕输'枷锁的普通小伙子
我也想耀武扬威
我是赞不得的
一被赞 我会飘飘欲仙 仿佛 on top of the world
我也想有用不完的 resources

站在前面的中年人
口沫横飞` 双唇相碰的频率高得超乎想象
一句句的高丽话` 以波的形式萦绕在耳边
无奈的还是冲不破耳边形成的无形墙
缘何
思绪已经飞到了九霄云外` 远在十万八千里外的某地....

(2007年 11月 30日 기계재료학 수업에
作白日梦동시에 쓴 끌....)